


drabbles and background headcanons

by theenglishmanwithallthebananas



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Eating Disorders, but it is sort of free-form writing? so i wanted to cross-post it here. sue me, this isnt a fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:00:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25125082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theenglishmanwithallthebananas/pseuds/theenglishmanwithallthebananas
Summary: someone asked me on tumblr about my headcanons and i ended writing a lot about them, so i thought i'd post those sorts of things over here too. it all sort of informs how i write my actual fics; you can probably assume this stuff is going on in the background if it's not mentioned.
Kudos: 11





	drabbles and background headcanons

_if you have any more thoughts on martin having an eating disorder, i'd like to hear em (if u don't/ don't wanna share, that's ok!)_

  * martin does in fact drink a lot of the tea he makes, because it helps to have *something* in his stomach, and he doesnt want people to worry about him not eating. basically any time he feels hungry he’ll go and make himself some tea instead.
  * he also NEVER eats from communal eating spaces like the office breakroom because if u think his mother didnt yell at him for snacking at home or eating food that wasn’t “his,” you are wrong. he knows that looks weird tho so sometimes when other people are already eating (it’s fine if someone else starts, right?) he’ll give himself permission to grab like a banana he brought from home or something.
  * he DOES usually eat meals if other people are there to see (which, if hes around they usually are, just cause he doesnt eat well doesnt mean he wont bug everyone else about it), its just like. stuff that he feels its “acceptable” for a fat person to eat in public so its usually a small sandwich or some shit. never takeout or frozen if he can help it, altho he’ll often go for that at home for money reasons.
  * he used to go through cycles of restriction and binging, but once he started living in the archives he was around other people too much and was pretty much just restricting all the time. this...unfortunately didnt really ever let up, because everything just kept getting worse.
  * obviously, the whole prentiss situation made things even harder on him. a lot of his go-to food became triggers, so his already poor diet became really unbalanced.
  * things were actually the worst for him when not!sasha was around, because she (and jon’s breakdowns) made him paranoid that people would KNOW, people would SEE (he’s not even sure what, but they WOULD) and he pretty much didnt eat at all at work.
  * this fed into all the shit in season 4 because its actually incredibly lonely to constantly be watching other people’s self-care habits and know that no one’s noticed your own. ironically, he had the chance to eat a bit better around then, because no one was around to see, but the constant dissociation just made it easier to ignore so it wasnt really better or worse in the end.
  * jon kinda noticed all this early on? especially when he was stalking everyone lmao. but like. his own issues with eating properly and his general...everything at the time made him feel like it wasnt really his place to say anything.
  * by the scottish honeymoon tho he’s been on the receiving end of martin’s caretaking so many times that he basically just copies that to bully martin into actually eating the proper amount. theres kind of a running competition of who can outdo the other with “i made an elaborate meal for the two of us this evening, now you’re OBLIGATED to eat something, you bastard.” also just general turning concern back on the other person. its all very sweet and gay.
  * jon genuinely finding martin beautiful and lovable and helping him with his self-esteem issues also helps a lot.
  * its weird, because you’d think trying to tackle a decades-long issue on top of all the other bullshit they’ve been through would make things hard, but Martin is basically having to relearn how to be a person and actually sit in his body again anyway, after the Lonely, so this just feels like the natural time for recovery. when he’s already asking himself “am i sad, am i distressed, am i cold,” its easy enough to add “am i hungry” to his (and jon’s) check-ins.
  * after the eyepocalypse, they obviously dont need to eat anymore, but jon doesn’t want to undo all martin’s progress and reassures him that he’s always allowed to eat just because he wants to, so he still makes an effort to scrounge up small things as theyre walking. a little package of cookies, a bag of chips, a loaf of bread one time. its not like expiration dates mean anything anymore, and they could both really use the small comfort of pretending to be human for a bit.




End file.
